Thursday, March 28, 2013

My Guilty Pleasure: #RHOBH or Bravo's Trainwrecks

Well, there is no denying it. I have an addiction, well many addictions but this one in particular is a bit disturbing. I'm not sure there's a rehab or twelve step program for this affliction, but they say the first step is admitting you have a problem.

Hello. My name is Stephanie and I'm addicted to The Real Housewives of any city.

There. I said it. I'm not proud of it, but it's out there and now I have to deal with it. Right?

Seriously, I have watched all the episodes of every season of Bravo's Real Housewives except DC. I watched a few of the episodes of that one and I just couldn't keep up with it. For some reason, those women on that particular season felt like they were following a script. Yeah, I know. It's "reality" television so some parts of it have to be staged, but I don't get that same feeling with the ladies from Orange County, New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, Miami, or Beverly Hills. I felt a little of it with Vanderpump Rules, but not for the same reasons I did for the DC shows.

Do I think the women over react to many things in each episode? Yep. Do I think that Bravo tosses in a nemesis or two to make the viewers absolutely bonkers? Check! Do I think the lot of them are a bunch of backstabbing bitches? You better believe it!  Do I still love them all? Hell yes!

Why do I adore these trainwrecks? They give me an escape. These beautiful women and their crazy mixed up families help me to forget all about my troubles for a few hours each week. I don't feel like my problems are so bad once I see how they crash through each situation. I get to share in all of their ups and downs without having to continue to live with it day in and day out. Once that show is over and I've talked about it for a bit with my friends who are also fans, we can let it all go. I can yell at the television and wish to shake the hell out of one or two of them per episode. I can get out my own pent up anger at things that are going wrong in my life at the moment simply by projecting it all onto them.

Yeah, I know that sounds more than a bit odd, but you watch a few episodes of Vanderpump Rules and then tell me you didn't want to toss Stassi out on her ear for acting like a spoiled brat throughout the season. Go ahead and deny you wanted to just grab that hunky bartender Peter and steal off to Vegas...uh...hmmm. How many of you didn't want to tell the lot of them to mind their own business when it came to the love lives of their friends?

You're still trying to run off with Peter, aren't you?  LOL Don't blame you one bit.  Here you thought I would say it was the self-centered Jax that grabbed my attention. Nope. Give me the manager of SUR over all of them. He stays a bit in the background and is the Master of the "double shake" while mixing up those fancy schmancy drinks Lisa loves to have at her private parties.  Thank you, my darlin' Peter. I'll have another!

This last week was the season finale of the RH of Beverly Hills. I have to say I'm a bit ticked off that this bunch let more outsiders come into the group to stir up problems. I expected it from Kim D on the New Jersey season, but seriously...Faye Resnick? The woman whose only claim to fame is trying to make a buck off the death of her "best friend" Nicole Simpson? THIS is the woman some are letting be their mouth piece (yeah, Kyle this means you) and try to give lessons on being a lady. Puhleeeeze.

Adrienne...oh where do I start with that one. We've learned from the DC crew you can't continue to put on airs and accuse others of selling stories to the tabloids to cover up the fact YOU are the one doing it. Eventually all those lies will catch up to you and having Faye be your wingman when going after Brandi because she wouldn't play your mean girl games and go after Lisa is just petty.

But it did make for a great season! Watching women in their 40's act like teenage Mean Girls really was entertaining, but I was ticked off that Lisa didn't boot Faye out on her ass when she crashed her party and then accused her of using someone else to do her dirty work. And the topper was the interview with Adrienne after she crashed the Vanderpump engagement party. Not only did Adrienne show up unannounced, she didn't feel the need to search out the hosts of the party. Instead she held court in another room and expected Lisa to come over to her and find out how she was doing. LMAO. Seriously? Then "A" tells her lemmings that she doesn't feel right being there to take away from Lisa's day. Nooooooo. You would never do that, now would you, Ms. Maloof? (Remember Mauricio's party? Who caused the scene there?) If you want to find out more about this media hound, check out her employer...err...favorite tabloid to sell stories to...ummmm...well, check out Radar Online.  (hehehehe)

One thing I don't like about these shows is there is usually one or two couples who don't make it out unscathed. Orange County saw the break up of Jo and Slade, Tamara and Simon, Slade and Laurie, Tamara and Vicki, Vicki and Don, Gina and the whole show...hmmmm more to come on that season I'm sure. Sometimes the couples do get married, only to end up in divorce later like with Bethany Frankel. Those you thought were the best of friends turn into worst enemies and vise versa. It's a roller coaster ride I'm enjoying immensely. The ideas for characters loosely based on these women and their partners swamp my brain daily.  Truth is, I'm not sure I could ever come up with a character more convoluted than the Real Housewives at Bravo Network.

But I do know someone who has...hehehe. Stay tuned. My alter ego Tammy Dennings Maggy is currently working on book three of her Now and Forever series. The "heroine" is Julia Santos, a grade A bitch that would give all of the women of every one of these shows a run for their money. Kim D from Jersey would be brought to tears by "our" Julia. Teresa wouldn't dare toss a table at Julia without finding herself flat on her ass under it. Julia would flirt with and sleep with all the husbands and boyfriends on these shows only to then discard each and every one of them like yesterdays news. She would be the one all of the Real Housewives would hate and secretly want to be when they grew up.

Watch out Bravo Housewives. Once Tammy releases Julia on the world, none of us will be the same! ;)

Until next time

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